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(Character | Brett | |
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Gender | Female | |
Age Range(s) | Young Adult (20-35), Senior (>50) | |
Type of monologue / Character is | Talking to the audience, Reminiscing life story/Telling a story | |
Type | Comic | |
Period | Contemporary | |
Genre | Comedy | |
Description | The Shoe Moment - Brett talks about a time she combined her job at the halfway house (602) run by the Mental Health Association and the residential program (the O & D) run by the Observation and Detention Center. | |
Details | "The O & D" Middle of the Book |
Summary
Brett talks about a time she combined her job at the halfway house (602) run by the Mental Health Association and the residential program (the O & D) run by the Observation and Detention Center.
Written by Jass Richards
Excerpt |
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Lily is 602's compulsive shopper. Luann is one of O & D's shoplifters. The three of us (I m relief staff at both the psych halfway house and the juvenile detention center) headed out to a mall one day, the two of them delighted at discovering in common an enthusiasm for shopping. They made a bee-line for one of those sprawling economy department stores that have everything you could possible imagine but nothing you could actually want. Let alone need. I trailed behind, at a discreet distance that was supposed to make them feel independent, one of the many purposes of such a field trip. Lily grabbed a shopping cart and began to fill it at once with socks, tshirts, scarves, hats, jeans, sweaters, umbrellas all the while maintaining a chatter that was part auctioneer and part shopping channel spokesperson. Luann followed, recognizing Lily as the perfect decoy, and stealthily secreted various items into various pockets. By the time they left Ladies' Wear, Lily was onto her second shopping cart. By the time they'd gotten through Kitchenwares, she'd enlisted Luann to push a third. She was in Shoppers' Heaven. She'd never filled three shopping carts before. Luann was feeling aggrieved it was clear she was outdone. She'd never be able to lift more than Lily was accumulating. So she scored the next item when Lily was watching, and winked at her. Lily was confused for a moment, looking much like a puppy seeing for the first time an older dog calmly walk away with the just delivered pizza box. While stealing clearly had advantages over buying, she realized, as Luann had, that she couldn't possibly take nearly as much that way. So she decided to stick with compulsive shopping. And that made Luann doubly aggrieved. So when Lily put shoehorns into that third cart six of them, one of each colour Luann blew. "YOU DON'T FUCKING NEED ALL THIS SHIT!!" she yelled. So loudly she lost half her loot. Among the many items that fell clattering to the floor was a travel mini-shoeshine kit. Lily stared at this shoeshine kit. Luann stared at the shoeshine kit. Lily looked at her shoehorns. Luann looked at the shoehorns. I call it 'the shoe moment'. Then, wordlessly, they both left the scene. Unfortunately for me, through different exits. I eventually found them both, wandering in the parking lot, looking for my car. (I was doing the same thing.) We left the mall and neither one of them went 'shopping' again. ***** |