Okay, I’m sure this year’s picture turned out a lot better (Opens envelope with pictures in it and screams like they saw a ghost) Oh my gosh! That’s horrifying! My eyes! (Shows audience) Look at this picture of me! I look like a serial killer! No, it’s worse than that. I look like the proud parent of a serial killer. My cold, dead eyes. My creepy smile. Have I gone insane and just not noticed it until now? I don’t think I want to murder people, but this picture of me has a mind of its own. Why are school pictures always this terrible? Take last year’s picture. The photographer took it while my eyes were closed. The year before, they set the camera way too low so the picture was looking up my nose. They’re so bad my parents refuse to buy them. To this day, they have no school pictures of me. They say they’d rather not remember me at all than remember me like I am in the photos. And honestly? I can’t blame them. I wouldn’t want to be trying to go to sleep at night while this (Holds up the photo again) stares into my soul from across the room. It’s honestly so scary I’m happy posing with my eyes closed just so I don’t have to look at it. (Looking at the picture) Oh my gosh, I think my eyes just moved! (Screams and runs away)